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Should I have a baby on my own?

I’m posting in the Parenting section, as I’d like to get opinions from people who are already parents. I’m a woman, 33, and recently got out of a 3 year relationship that had turned toxic and wasn’t the right one for me.

My entire life I have wanted to be a mother. I wanted to be a mom in my mid-late twenties, but I ended a 6 year relationship at 24 and had a couple of shorter, unsuccessful relationships from 25 to 30, at which point I started dating my most recent ex. I did not expect life to turn out this way – if you’d asked me 10 years ago, I would have pictured my life at 33 married with 2 or 3 beautiful kids. Although I love to travel I’m not big into partying or lots of drinking or sleeping around etc, I love nights in, cooking, "family life" so to speak. It breaks my heart that so many of my friends now have this, and I don’t, due to poor choices in men I made over the years.

Well, it is what it is. I can only look forward now, not backwards. I’d like to meet the love of my life and future father of my children, but I don’t want to settle for the wrong person just to have kids, and am also aware I have just a few years of fertility left. I have a few options:

Option 1: Freezing my eggs before I turn 35, and waiting to meet this person (which may or may not happen), as this would give me a bit of extra time.

Option 2: Not freezing, and having a kid in a couple of years through sperm donation. My best guy friend even offered this option to me 10 years ago, and said the other day the offer still stands – he would give me a baby if it means that much to me. I could take his offer, or just get a donation from a stranger, I suppose. This would save me the 10K I’d have to spend on egg freezing.

Option 3: Wait to meet the right person, not do anything, and if I miss my fertility window, I could adopt. However, I heard adoption gets much harder past the age of 35, and they often turn people down when it’s a single parent applying. My heart is totally open to adoption, but I’m not gonna lie, I’d be a bit heartbroken if I didn’t have at least one of my own, mostly because I would love to get pregnant and go through the process of pregnancy.

I think about this subject on a very regular basis. I don’t want to let it take over my life, or make me feel like I need to rush into a new relationship just so i don’t miss my "window". This really sucks. I hate going on dates and having to jump through hoops to find out if the guy wants kids or not, because if he doesn’t, I shouldn’t waste my time. I think I need to make a decision that I’m going to have a baby with or without a man, to take this pressure off my life.

Are there single moms on here? What are your thoughts on me making the decision of doing this on my own?

This post was syndicated from Community Forums. Click here to read the full text on the original website.


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